5 Powerful Signs: Time to End a Toxic Relationship:
“Guess it’s over call it a day. Sorry that it had to end this way. No reason to pretend, we knew it had to end someday this way…”
Timeless line from the song “Too Much, Too Little” by Johnny Mathis and Denice Williams. This probably exposes this writer’s age more than was intended but it does set the tone for the rest of the article. Because, it almost doesn’t matter how it’s diced, looking to end a toxic relationship can be one of the most difficult decisions you’ll ever make. And it doesn’t get easier with age. Quite the opposite in fact. And while it’s natural to feel uncertain, anxious, or even guilty about considering a breakup, most times, it beats staying in a relationship heading nowhere. Staying in a relationship that’s no longer serving you can lead to emotional exhaustion and even resentment.
But how do you know when to call it quits? When do you pull the plug and end a relationship? Too quick and you risk losing out on what could have been a relationship of a lifetime. Literally. Wait too long and not only do you miss what’s out there, but you risk ruining any chance of a civil friendship with your partner going forward. You actually also risk your psychological wellbeing. Because staying in a toxic relationship can take its toll mentally.
This article isn’t about placing blame or dwelling on negativity. Even though in most minds, it’s never our fault. It’s always the other person who didn’t listen enough, didn’t speak up enough, and on and on and on. This post is really about taking a step back first, in order to as objectively as possible, analyze the situation you’re in, and then take a decision. It’s about acknowledging your feelings and taking steps towards a healthier future. Blaming, shaming, and all manner of negativity are sadly, part and parcel of most breakups. So is it possible to end a toxic relationship amicably? Let’s look for the signs of an impending breakup first:
Communication Has Broken Down:
Trust Is Broken:
Emotional Needs Are Unmet:
Values and Goals No Longer Align:
You Feel Trapped or Unhappy:
Taking the Leap
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Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize and accept your emotions, even if they’re difficult or uncomfortable.
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Seek Support: Friends and family really come into their own during a breakup. In fact, before you decide to end a relationship, you may want to seek counsel first from trusted friends and family. Of course, for an even more detached and objective perspective, you can reach out to a therapist for guidance and encouragement.
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Practice Self-Care: This is key. You are responsible for you. No one else is responsible for your happiness, never mind what all the love songs in the world might say. So be the best version of you, prioritize your happiness. And where there really is a deliberate attempt from your significant other to rob you of your physical and mental wellbeing, it’s clearly time to end a toxic relationship.
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Take Responsibility: Own your role in the relationship’s demise, if applicable, and learn from the experience.
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Create a New Path: What do you really want? Be intentional going forward, either in the existing relationship, or in searching for a new one.
