Cougars and cubs are likely to be at different stages in their lives, with quite different levels of education, career, or personal growth.
Admittedly, the men have had it their way for a very long time. Older guys aka sugar daddies or zaddies even, had their pick of all available and willing women. And the band was broad – anything from 18 to 55 was fair game for the “aristo”. Add to this the tacit approval by most societies in the form of polygamy or the more subtle serial monogamy practiced in the West, and the men had a blast.
Of course, there were a few signs of a societal shift happening with films like ‘The Graduate’, where viewers were treated to an explicit cougars and cubs treatise. And then of course, we all got to see Stella get her groove on with the much younger Taye Diggs several years later.
But what was an interesting one-off twist to an age-old play by men since the time of Abraham, has slowly morphed into a whole new trend in the dating world – millennial women (born between 1981 and 1996) are willingly entering into relationships with Gen Z men (born between 1997 and 2012).
Why the age gap?
Why are cougars and cubs suddenly hooking up? And what does this mean for the older menfolk? Well, several factors contribute to this growing trend, chief amongst them being women’s empowerment. With empowerment comes independence. Financial independence. And with that comes a much smaller pool of options for millennial women.
Millennial men, far too used to playing the dominant figure, have difficulty dealing with financially empowered women. And like all predators, they simply turn their attention to the ‘weaker’ prey. The easier meat to manage. Younger, less empowered women who would rub their egos no end. Well, until the young women become empowered themselves, and start to question the hapless man.
So where does this leave our dear cougars? Alone, that’s where. Until now.
Changing social norms
Increasingly, traditional age expectations in relationships are becoming less rigid. Largely because women are simply too enlightened, too empowered, and too educated to remain subjugated by male defined traditions! There is one caveat though – most cougars and cubs relationships are still “under g”. While we all know its happening, serious career women are not fronting their cubs, regardless of what Stellar did with her groove.
Increased online connections
There’s no getting away from the effect of social media on virtually all aspects life. And like everything else, social media has altered who and how people meet these days. Add to this the dating app phenomenon, and it is now so much easier for people to connect across age groups. Best of all, it’s all possible without prying eyes seeing into your business. Your cougar and cub arrangement can be your business and no one else’s.
That is until our toy boy starts to get greedy and threatens to go public. Yes, the one drawback to the cougar-cub arrangement is the power dynamic, which invariably has the woman being of far higher social and financial standing. And while she gets company and attention, the cub expects to be taken care of. Sadly, at some point, most cubs will grow and start to cross boundaries and eventually sour the arrangement. But there are always outliers like the French president, so its not all doom and gloom.
Benefits of age-gap relationships
Yes, there are benefits to both parties. The cougar gets a guy with a six pack, and hopefully everything else that comes with it, and the cub gets rewarded financially. Subtly, so as not to leave a bad taste. But lets focus on possibilities above the waistline – partners can share unique perspectives and life experiences. A compliant cub will learn from his cougar. She’ll teach him how to groom properly, how to act and be confident, and if he’s a good student, she’ll even set him up career-wise.
Challenges and Considerations
But, there’s no escaping the challenges these arrangements present. As exposed and enlightened as we want to believe we are, social scrutiny and potential criticism will affect the relationship. Adversely so for the cougar. And, the afore-mentioned power dynamics usually don’t augur well for the relationship. Cougars and cubs are likely to be at different stages in their lives, with quite different levels of education, career, or personal growth.
Admittedly, the differences can be complementary, but it will take a healthy dose of maturity, self awareness, and mutual respect, much more so than if the age gap was not an issue.
The future of love
As societal norms continue to evolve, cougars and cubs relationships will likely become more commonplace. Embracing this trend requires open-mindedness, understanding, and the courage to challenge traditional expectations.
But the best part? Middle aged men know exactly what a younger more virile guy brings to the table; or kitchen; or bedroom. Life is a lot more turgid with the young Turks. And so for the cougars, it’s one (firmly) up on the arrogant millennial men who have had things their way for far too long.
