Usually, when we think of manipulation in relationships, we look immediately at the men as the perpetrators. However, history is replete with women who have subtly employed very sophisticated tactics to control their partners. Think of Cleopatra and of course Delilah. In fairness to the latter, Samson did give off more-brawn-than-brains vibes and seemed almost to be begging to be manipulated. But let’s stick to more contemporary men. In truth, the strategies employed can be difficult to recognize, and in many cases, the poor sod may not even realize that he’s being manipulated. So, let us try to first identify, and then explore some 6 tactics some women use to maintain control and keep their unsuspecting male counterparts off balance.

1. Withdrawal

This tactic is a surefire way to throw a brother off his game and ensure that he worries and even blames himself, for what he really has no clue about. A woman may suddenly become distant and uncommunicative, leaving him wondering what he’s done wrong. Interestingly, this tactic plays on the common belief that if a woman is keeping to herself, then there must be something wrong somewhere. His mind races – has he missed her birthday, missed some insignificant anniversary, or God forbid, did she somehow gain access to his phone when he wasn’t looking?! The anxiety then forces him to overcompensate and try to make amends for an imaginary fault. However, while withdrawal may keep a guy on edge and on his toes even, the effect will wear thin if overused. The smart manipulator will use this super tactic, sparingly, mixing it with other moves we will discuss shortly.

2. Mirroring

Mirroring is a less detectable tactic, which involves mimicking her man’s characteristics, traits, and habits. A woman might adopt the body language, verbal expressions, and attitudes to appear as a perfect match. This tactic lowers defenses, making our Samson believe he has found someone who truly understands him. However, this behavior is not often genuine; it’s a calculated move to gain trust and further her own agenda. Once our man is emotionally invested, the mirroring may stop, revealing a different, often less compatible person. This sudden, seeming change of heart has left many men broken and confused, wondering how and where it all went wrong. Unfortunately, it was never really right in the first place. At least, not for him.

3. Emotional blackmail

Now we’re getting to the business end of manipulation. The big guns are out now. This is the manipulation bazooka. Emotional blackmail is such a powerful manipulative tool. Women understand the societal pressure on men to ensure their partner’s happiness and well-being. Hence, they exploit this state of affairs by guilt-tripping a man into doing their bidding. Tears, tantrums, and wild, barely sub-clinical mood swings are all par for the course. Do you not want her to be happy? Don’t you want what’s best for her? And in spite of our modern-day Samson almost pulling his hair out trying to please his woman, he manages to fall short time and again in her eyes.  Seemingly. Somehow, he is made to feel incapable of fulfilling his obligations as a man, whatever that means. Samson will spend the rest of his life trying to placate his Delilah.

4. The Hot and Cold Method

Keep your head ringing. The dreaded hot-and-cold method keeps a guy emotionally hooked. If ever a woman needed to be front and center, dominating your thoughts round the clock, then this is the tactic to deploy. For instance, a woman playing this card may shower you with affection, give you all her attention, and then suddenly, poof. The tap runs dry, literally and figuratively. She’s suddenly distant and aloof. One moment, she’s loving and engaging, the next, she’s cold and unresponsive. This unpredictability triggers our anxiety, making us desperate to regain her affection. First, we may become overly attentive, asking incessantly what the matter is. We try to please her, buying gifts, and seeking reassurance, all to win back her warmth and attention. All the while, our skilled manipulator is smiling inwardly, loving the effect she’s able to exert. But fret not. A discerning man should see through this and indeed, all other tactics mentioned, and take evasive action. Or better still, run for the hills.

5. The Power of Suggestion

The power of suggestion is a covert manipulation technique. A woman might casually mention a pair of shoes she spotted in a store window, or a dress she saw online, planting the idea in her guy’s mind without directly asking. For more effect, these desired items may be suggested close to a significant date like a birthday, or Valentine’s Day, or shortly after a fight or yet another transgression on your part, real or imagined.  She might say things like, “I would love it if my man did that for me” or “I’ve never had a man buy me something like that”. The more coyish players might go third party: “You should see the Hermes bag my friend’s boyfriend bought her for her birthday…”.  These comments subtly influence a guy to fulfill her desires, and when done properly, our guy might even end up feeling like it was his idea all along!

6. Love Bombing

Love bombing is one of the darkest, yet most strategic of all manipulation tactics. Simply put, it involves overwhelming a guy with affection, compliments, and declarations of love, making him feel like he’s found the perfect partner. The often rapid escalation in affection creates a powerful emotional bond. She would lavish her prey, partner, sorry, with compliments. Find his love language and speak it to the heavens. If he loves his food, she’ll either make him his favorite dishes or have them made. No real difference, as long as he’s sated. There has been no better lover in her existence. You-are-the-man! “We have so much in common,”, she might say.  “I don’t usually fall for someone this fast,” and “I feel like we’re meant to be together.” This constant positive reinforcement makes a dude fall hard and fast, leaving him vulnerable and deeply invested. Once hooked though, the job is done. Make your own damn sandwiches. And get her a beer while you’re at it!

______________________________________________

Salvation

Gentlemen, it is absolutely vital that we recognize these tactics for what they are. Your emotional well-being is at risk. In fact, your efficacy at work, and your other relationships are all at risk if you fall under the spell of a skilled manipulator. But there is hope – if you notice these behaviors in your relationship, it’s important to address them directly. Do not allow them fester. Having the courage to call out a manipulator may actually help you both. Manipulation, or attempts at manipulation do not inevitably signal a bad partner, or the end of the road. It may in fact lead you to a truly meaningful relationship, having “passed the test”. Because in truth, women use these tactics mostly to test boundaries and test your mettle as a man. Not necessarily to rob you of your dignity and render you penniless.

Remember, a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and genuine affection. Stay vigilant and prioritize your well-being to ensure you’re in a supportive and loving partnership.

Reference: https://youtu.be/Rd3XP-cOoTQ