So, it’s getting to that time of the year when not quite everyone is of good cheer. First, there’s the economy, otherwise known as T-Pain. And then there’s usually the feeling of underachievement. Same job, same house, same car, or no car at all even. Same barely-above-the-red-line bank account balance. Yet again. But what probably bothers most people the most, is that once again, the year is ending without a significant love interest. No matching pajamas, no endless pub crawls over Detty December, and no kissing under the mistletoe. Do we even do that in these parts? Well, same difference – no mistletoe means no intimacy, put plainly. But what gives? How do you get over the December (or Christmas) Blues, a concern many people endure, but hardly ever discuss openly, either for fear of pity, or ridicule, or just self-denial?
Here’s a little song I wrote…
…, you might want to sing it note for note. Apologies to Bobby McFarren, whose 1988 Grammy Award-winning song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” probably saved more lives and changed more people for the better, than he is given credit for. The song aligns well with the dictates of positive psychology, which promotes well-being, usually by reframing and contextualizing situations. Now, let’s put a new song together, one which will hopefully set the tone for a bearable December if you’ve been unlucky in love thus far. You may want to apply these particular lyrics to other aspects of life actually, even beyond December. Let’s begin:
Negative Self-Talk
No, there’s nothing really wrong with you. There might be room for improvement, but in most cases, not having what you want, like having the partner you want, is only a matter of time. So don’t beat yourself up too much. Constant
self-criticism can only intensify feelings of inadequacy and disappointment during the holidays. Learn to reframe negative thoughts into positive, empowering ones – I haven’t met my partner all year maybe because I wasn’t ready. But now I am.
Comparison and Envy
It’s easy to say “Don’t compare”. But it is so difficult not to compare. You’re only human. However, while you’re looking upward to compare, take the time to look down as well. For balance. You don’t live in Banana (yet) and you have to “make do” with Lekki 1 at the moment. But your old classmate, who by the way, beat you in every exam you took together, still lives at home with his parents. In Akowonjo.
Lack of Gratitude
Comparison segues nicely into gratitude. Thank God, or whichever Deity you believe in, often. Because frankly, it could be much worse. Failing to appreciate the good things in life can lead to discontent. Cultivate gratitude through journaling, meditation, or sharing appreciation with loved ones. And there’s no better time than in December.
Worry and expectations
“Ain’t got no gal to make you smile, don’t worry, be happy”. Surely, there’s someone for everyone. And worrying rarely solves any problems anyway. Continuously dwelling on negative thoughts and worries can consume so much mental energy. So let’s be intentional about what we want. But let’s be realistic as well. You drive a 15 year old Corolla but have your eyes and mind, and whatever other part of your anatomy set on a designer dripping senior manager at an international oil company. How for do? Please, let’s manage our expectations this December.
Social Media Obsession
Unfortunately, social media will be abuzz this year, as always, with beautiful people at beautiful places, having a time that’s good. Unplugging totally all month is probably best, but it’s unrealistic. So what’s the plan then? Limit your exposure and save yourself from you! Go out and create your own memories with friends, neighbors, old school mates, work colleagues, family. BE INTENTIONAL and prioritize real-life connections, and focus on meaningful activities.
Lack of Physical Activity and Self-Care
Christmas blues can lead to lethargy. It’s been 11 hard months of hope and expectations, and putting in your best. Yet, here we are. Loads of activity but not a lot of movement. You’re tired, physically and mentally. At this point, it’s easy to slip into a sedentary lifestyle, neglecting physical health, and thus contributing to increased stress and anxiety. Well, December, not January, is probably the best time to incorporate regular exercise, outdoor activities, or sports to boost mood and energy. Don’t worry about work. Opportunity comes when you’re prepared. So get a jumpstart on others by starting to look good and ready in December, not in January. And who knows, you might start the new year off with a beau in tow.
Poor Sleep Habits and Overindulgence?
Inadequate sleep and irregular routines can disrupt your mood and internal clock regulation. But so what? It’s Christmas. There’ll be more than enough time to sleep when you’re old and retired. Indulge if you can afford to. As they say in local parlance, “This life is only one”. And the things you worry about today, without action, will be right there waiting for you tomorrow. Love interests hardly ever find you where you’re hiding or hibernating. So get yourself ready, looking your very best, and get out there and have fun.
It is your positivity and outlook on life that is most likely to make you all the more attractive this December. So don’t worry too much. Be happy.
