Sense of entitlement: A 2 Count Recipe for Disaster:
As women, we’ve all been guilty of taking our partners for granted at some point or another. And it’s easy to see how this can happen – 1st we get comfortable, too comfortable, and assume our men will always be there. We forget to appreciate even the little things these poor chaps do for us – after all, he’s the man and he’s expected to do these things and more. Yet, the dangers of developing a sense of entitlement can be devastating, damaging our relationships and ultimately our own sense of self-worth.
The Dangers of Neglect
So, what happens when a good man feels unseen and underappreciated? What are the signs that he may be feeling this way?
- The Slow Fade: He might stop putting in the extra effort. No more pleasant surprises or romantic gestures. Things just feel all rather flaccid. Maybe that’s not quite the right word, or is it?
- Resentment Builds: Unexpressed feelings can fester, and our long-suffering partner might become passive-aggressive or withdrawn. While we can put this to bad communication on his part, the important thing is to recognize the signs and act upon them. And seeing as you’re probably the cause of his behavior, you need to open the communication channel so as to sort out the problem before it gets out of hand.
- He Seeks Appreciation Elsewhere: He’s found someone else. Someone he reckons appreciates him more than you, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.
Internal Signs You’re Taking Him for Granted
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Disconnection and Drift: When you take your partner for granted, its not unusual to start to feel disconnected from him. After all, he’s no longer the person you want to run to with everything happening in your life, both good and bad; we start to disconnect from them.
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Irritability: You’ve suddenly developed a short fuse. To put it plainly, you start to act out. His actions easily annoy you, his opinions don’t seem to matter quite so much anymore. The power dynamic has changed and with it goes regard and respect. Sadly, when a woman doesn’t feel that regard and respect for her man, it will lead to a breakdown in communication and intimacy.
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Infidelity and Betrayal: Let’s segue nicely into the next possible feelings that may arise – In some cases, taking our partner for granted can lead to infidelity and betrayal. Once we lose respect and admiration for our man, its easy and even quite natural to seek solace and vindication elsewhere. The compliments and attention from other men suddenly seem of such higher value than from the “see-finished” partner we’ve come to know so well.
Breaking the Cycle, curbing your sense of entitlement
So, how can we break the cycle of taking our partner for granted? Yes, he has gotten all too familiar, he’s like a piece of furniture in the house. But there’s furniture and then there’s furniture. A Ben Enwonwu sculpture in the living room should be treated quite differently from a doormat bought in traffic on 3rd Mainland Bridge.
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Practice Gratitude: Make a conscious effort to appreciate your partner. Thank them for the little things they do; Shelf the sense of entitlement and celebrate their accomplishments. Men are easy. Just stroke their ego and they’re yours forever.
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Communicate Openly: Remember, guys don’t talk just to be heard. They want solutions, so nodding attentively without contributing positively may not help very much. Also remember, men are not mind readers. You need to let him know what you’re thinking.
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Date Nights: It doesn’t always have to be grand. Don’t make it a financial burden, all in the name of connecting. An inexpensive movie date works. Karaoke night. Weekend live football. And yes, even fast food is fine. As is fine dining, admittedly. But request for it too often, and you might get the exact opposite effect, with your man making excuses and saving himself the grief of spending repeatedly over the top.
Conclusion
Women, as do men, can become entitled when comfortable in a relationship. Women can also develop the “What’s the grass like on the other side” feelings, wondering so, “Is this it”? These feelings only make us all human. Having them is not the issue. It’s how we deal with these feelings of complacency and doubt that matters. So, recognize the signs, both on your part, and in your partners behavior, and get ready to break the cycle quickly. Remember, a relationship is a journey, not a destination. Manage every stage carefully.
