Emotional Intelligence – Spotting It in Your Match

emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence – Spotting It in Your Match

Finding that special someone on a matchmaking app is exciting, but what if you could look beyond the comments and the blurry profile picture, and see what holds in the very heart of the person? In other words, what if you could read their emotional intelligence profile (EQ) like you would an open book?  Because, you see, people with high EQ are masters of navigating emotions, both their own and those of others. Not in a manipulative manner, but in a conciliatory way. The way of the peacemaker. Without mincing words, in the world of matchmaking, this translates to stronger connections, better communication, and a love life that will very likely thrive.  But how do you spot an emotionally intelligent match, man or woman? Let’s dive into the signs:

The Self-Aware Superhero:  These special high EQ types understand their strengths and weaknesses. They can identify their emotions and why they feel the way they do. This means they can take responsibility for their actions and communicate openly. For instance, imagine a disagreement. An emotionally intelligent partner wouldn’t just say “You made me mad!” They might explain, “I feel hurt when plans change at the last minute because I value reliability. Can we talk about how to communicate these changes better in the future?” Stunning stuff. And to think people like this actually exist. You might find yourself “looking for their trouble”, just to shake them out of their primness. But that’s the whole point. It is who they are. It’s not an act or a put-on. And yes, we can all develop self-awareness. 

The Empathy Engager:  They can put themselves in your shoes. They actively listen, validate your feelings, and offer support.  They celebrate your wins and genuinely care about your world.  This doesn’t mean they agree with everything you say but understand where you’re coming from. Imagine sharing a tough day at work. An empathetic match wouldn’t just say “Cheer up!” They might offer a listening ear, ask questions to understand your experience and suggest ways to unwind.

The Communication Captain:  They express their needs clearly and respectfully. They’re open to hearing yours and can navigate disagreements with maturity.  Expect clear, honest conversations that leave you feeling heard and understood. This goes beyond just words. Pay attention to non-verbal cues too. Does your date make eye contact and show genuine interest when you speak? Or does he try to diminish and condescend, just because he’s a self-aware superhero? 

Conflict Conqueror:  High EQ people don’t shy away from tough conversations. Instead, they approach them constructively.  They focus on solutions, not blame, and work together to find a win-win.  Disagreements are inevitable, but emotionally intelligent partners see them as opportunities to grow closer. Look for someone who can calmly explain their perspective and actively listen to yours, even when emotions run high. But don’t expect them to let you win all the time. Having high EQ doesn’t make you a pushover. Quite the contrary in fact – it makes you a solid rock for your partner to lean on. But don’t abuse the privilege of having such a partner either.

The Bounce Back Boss:  Life throws curveballs, and they can handle them with grace.  They are resilient and can manage their emotions through challenges, big or small.  This doesn’t mean they never get upset, but they can bounce back from setbacks without letting negativity cloud the relationship. Pay attention to how they handle stress in their everyday lives. There’s a lot to be learned from these guys, and the rest of us mere mortals should be grateful to have one of them as a partner. Thankfully, in the end, 2, not one superhero emerges, as long as you all yourself feed off the energy and understanding of your EQed-up partner. 

To be clear – emotional intelligence is a journey, not a destination.  So look for someone who is growing and learning.  By prioritizing EQ in your search, you’ll be well on your way to finding a love that’s as smart as it is sweet.  Here’s the bonus: Emotional intelligence is contagious! As you surround yourself with people who are self-aware, empathetic, and good communicators, you’ll likely find yourself growing in these areas too. 

Remember, these are just some signs of emotional intelligence to watch for. And don’t worry about them pretending. It is virtually impossible to keep up the act for too long. The pretender will be unable to keep up the game for too long. It’s like lighting a cigarette in front of a supposed non-smoker. Or cutting into a juicy steak right next to a supposed vegan. The truth will come out ultimately, and true colors will be revealed. The most important thing as you embark on your journey of discovery is to find someone you feel truly connected to, someone who makes you feel good and supports you. Someone strong enough to be vulnerable around you, and lean on you when their strength momentarily fails. 

 

Happy Matching!

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