The Talking Stage: From Casual to Meaningful

Talking Stage

The Talking Stage: From Casual to Meaningful

In the old days, we called it toasting. Or courting. That pre-dating period when you tried your hardest to get a girl to like you. But this is slightly different. Now, this pre-dating period is fully experienced by both men and women. It’s called the “talking stage” apparently. Not terribly creative it has to be said. Could have called it the “I’ll just hang around till you have my time stage “. If you’re going to be literal, might as well do it properly.
Anyway, what it is in either guise, is that limbo period where two people are getting to know each other, but haven’t quite defined their relationship. It’s a delicate phase, filled with excitement, uncertainty, and sometimes, confusion. So, in this post, we’ll explore the talking stage, its pros and cons, and offer practical tips on how to navigate it successfully and transition into a fulfilling relationship, assuming that’s what either or both parties want.

Why the Talking Stage?

Well, it’s inevitable really. Anything else would be a one-night stand. That’s more like the gesturing and negotiation stage, no? Yes, the talking stage is an informal, exploratory period where two individuals engage in regular conversations, often with the intention of determining compatibility. It’s also a time when guys, and girls even, weigh their options. You’re basically buying time to decide. That’s the flip side of the talking stage. It’s when a guy hopes his new job drops. When that deal he’s been chasing finally clicks. And then and only then is he willing to take things to the next level, knowing he can “spoil” his love interest in the way and manner she deserves.
This stage can last anywhere from a few weeks to several years, and its duration often depends on the individuals involved. You read that correctly. Guys have been known to wait very patiently for years to get their dream girl. Some have waited through marriages, kids, and all. Afterall, it doesn’t really cost anything significant to stay in the talking stage. The king of the talking stage has to be Jacob though. He went through a sister, two handmaidens, aka house girls, and several children while in a 7-year talking stage! May that not be our portion…, not unless you’re into that sort of thing. 

Pros of the Talking Stage

  1. Low-pressure: The talking stage offers a relaxed atmosphere, allowing you to get to know someone without the weight of labels or expectations. And, it doesn’t cost a lot of money.
  2. Exploration: You can discover common interests, values, and goals without feeling committed. And, you won’t have to spend too much.
  3. Flexibility: You can maintain your independence while still enjoying the excitement of a new connection. And, you save your money till it’s really needed.

Cons of the Talking Stage

  1. Uncertainty: The lack of clear boundaries and labels can lead to confusion and mixed signals. Interestingly, both men and women can and do get quite fed up after a while. “if you’re going to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk”. 
  2. Lack of commitment: Without a defined relationship, you’re not really answerable to the other person, are you? And conversely, you can’t really ask them to be Lusk or committed to you either. 
  3. Prolonged limbo: The talking stage can drag on, leaving you feeling stuck and unsure of how to progress.

Successfully Navigating the Talking Stage

  1. Communicate openly: Can you really tell a girl you’re not moving forward because you don’t have enough money to do so? It’s hard. But, you have to find a way to share your thoughts, feelings, and intentions. Encourage open and honest dialogue to avoid misunderstandings.
  2. Set boundaries: Establish clear expectations regarding communication, social media, and personal space.
  3. Define your intentions: Be clear about what you’re looking for – a casual connection or a meaningful relationship.
  4. Pay attention to actions: Observe how your “friend”  treats you and others, as actions often speak louder than words. In particular, look out for jealousy and possessiveness. 
  5. Don’t overthink: Avoid overanalyzing every conversation or gesture; focus on the bigger picture and overall connection.
  6. Take initiative: If you feel a strong connection, suggest taking the next step, like meeting in person or defining your relationship.
  7. Respect each other’s paces: Understand that everyone moves at their own pace; be patient and accommodating.
  8. Embrace vulnerability: Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with your partner, and be receptive to theirs.

Transitioning into a Relationship

  1. Have the “define the relationship” conversation: Discuss your feelings, intentions, and expectations with your mate (after getting the new job). Come clean finally, and hope for the best.
  2. Establish a mutual understanding: Ensure you both are on the same page regarding your relationship status and boundaries.
  3. Embrace labels: If you’ve decided to commit, embrace the labels that come with a defined relationship.
  4. Nurture trust and respect: Continue open communication, active listening, and empathy to build a strong foundation.
  5. Celebrate milestones: Mark special occasions, like the anniversary of your first date or the day you defined your relationship.

Conversion!

In conclusion, the talking stage can be a thrilling and exploratory period, but it requires boldness and communication to transition into a fulfilling relationship. The best part is, spending a long time in this stage inevitably begets friendship. Friendship on a deep level, unmatched by what obtains with couples who jump in too early. So in spite of the jest and the fun-poking we’ve done here, the talking stage is actually highly recommended. Get to know each other first. Connect properly. Then celebrate that new job with someone who genuinely likes you and wants what’s best for you. 

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