Self-love can be defined as loving and valuing oneself, which can lead to personal happiness and growth. However, it has been viewed by many as a negative trait, often associated with vanity, selfishness, and narcissism. This view of self-love is often seen as a moral flaw and is often equated with conceitedness and egotism.
But it is important. It’s important for leading a happy healthy life. So, let’s talk about eight things, we need to know about self-love.
Self-love is not a linear process
The process of loving yourself will have ups and downs. You will probably have days where you feel great energized and positive, but also know that there will be days when you don’t, and that’s more than okay. Even when you consciously practice self-love, you may sometimes feel grumpy, tired, anxious, sad, lonely, or defeated. On those days, remember that you’re human. and in the process of growing, you’re allowed to feel the full range of emotions on any given day. Life is hard and there’s nothing wrong with taking the bad with the good. Part of loving yourself is feeling and expressing these emotions without criticizing yourself. Self-love is a complex process, full of leaps forward and steps back. Each day that you choose to keep going and choose to love yourself, you’re, making amazing progress, even if you don’t feel like it.
Is self-love selfish?
How many times have you stepped back from a commitment and instantly felt guilty? How often do you say no to someone and feel self-absorbed? Feeling this way is normal and totally understandable because society has led us to believe that prioritizing our own needs is selfish. But this is not true. Despite everything that society has told you, taking care of your own needs is one of the most important things you can do.
Your health and happiness are yours to protect and maintain. Taking the steps to do so is never selfish.
Self-love is not a rapid process
Think of the people you love most. Outside of family, it takes some time to love firmly and completely, if ever. When you begin to learn how to love yourself, it may take some time for you to fully feel it. Understand though, that similar to loving other people, loving yourself, is a process and a journey.
It may not and probably won’t happen overnight and that’s okay. Do you tend to dwell on your flaws? Your flaws are what make you unique. They’re part of what makes you the wonderful human that you are.
Opening doors to give and receive love
Have you ever heard that phrase or versions of it where they say, “Think first of number one? First, the way you love yourself indeed shows others how to love you. According to licensed marriage and family therapist, John Kim from Psychology Today, forming a healthy relationship with yourself that is full of care, understanding, compassion, and healthy boundaries will help you achieve that kind of relationship with yourself and others.
Uncovering the sources of healing can be difficult
Are you in the process of emotionally healing? If so, you should be proud that you’re taking the steps to heal for it isn’t easy. Like self-love, healing not only takes time, but it’s also very complex, Unraveling possible years of buried trauma is daunting. If you become overwhelmed during this process, part of self-love and practicing self-care is knowing when to step back in the healing process.
Though it may be very tempting to keep pushing, remember that part of loving yourself is acknowledging your own boundaries, and this is especially important in healing in order to avoid uncovering memories and moments in ways that may wound you further.
Permit yourself to accept your compassion
Have you ever noticed the negative connotation that’s around self-compassion, often disguised as making excuses or feeling sorry for yourself? The truth is that one of the greatest sources of strength is being able to have kindness and compassion for your own experiences in life. We have this unfortunate quality to automatically blame ourselves when things go wrong If you didn’t get a job or get into your college pick, you tend to believe that you aren’t qualified enough. If a friend is mad at you, you tend to blame yourself first, rather than objectively examining the situation.
This could lead to lower self-esteem, more negative self-talk, and even self-loathing if it goes unchecked. Self-compassion is something that lives inside of you, rather than suppressing it for the sake of others, the more you consciously accept the understanding and kindness you want to offer yourself the more your self-esteem and confidence will grow.
Following the yearnings of your soul
Have you ever felt pressured to do something against your own wishes? To take up a certain hobby or go down a certain career path that you didn’t want? While your complacency and acquiescence might seem to resolve differences and issues in the short term, it can leave you unfulfilled later. Part of loving yourself is giving yourself the right to follow your own dreams, no matter what others have to say. Those, who judge you or impose their dreams on you also have their own lives to lead. Take charge!
Your dreams are unique to you. You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled, no matter what others say.
Sometimes it’s hard
It’s doing what’s best for you, even if it doesn’t necessarily excite you at the moment. Self-love can be going to bed early, because you know, tomorrow is an important day. It’s discipline, forsaking instant gratification for greater good in the future. Choosing to stay in so you can finish an assignment or saying no to a loved one, so you can have time for rest. You have sat down and you are respecting your own boundaries. That is a good thing. Sometimes, in order to love yourself, you have to prioritize what is best for you and make sacrifices. Painful sacrifices. The sheer ability to do this confirms just how much you have your best interest at heart.
What are your thoughts on self-love and how do you practice it? Let us know in the comments below.
Ref: Psych2go